Opinions from Tiffany Trump, Dr. Yoho.com, Patrick Bet-David, Ted Kacyzinski, Lena Dunham, and Kim Shapiro.

Michael jumped up and down and the whole plane rattled. Did some lines in the bathroom.

Three Cheers for Beers!

It’s a Xerox of a Xerox all the way down.

Tell you ‘bout Maynard Cherry, my neighbor what shovels slop.

A psychic on the television closes her ad with a sequence of numbers.

For sale: butt plug, never used.

I have a secret, but you’ll never know what it is.

In third grade, I was getting into too many fights and was made to spend recess in the library. I never came out.

For a few hours I obsessed over this theory that the cartridges were buried in a landfill in Alamogordo.

I was feeling so sorry for myself because of the way that I felt. Awful.

Art is useless, but it is an indispensable uselessness.

I spend all my time in complete focus, absolutely crushing my goals and growing my business and side hustles. Every. Single. Day.

My cellmate and I shared a jar of urine.

It was the best job in the whole prison, I thought, standing there by the door, freeing people.

In prison again. Fuck!!! This shit sucked donkey balls.

I recently played a game for the NES called Ghostbusters.

The cop genocide progress bar is about .00047% full.

Would you still love me if I was a worm?

On my day off I took the train downtown to buy the sweater.