THE LEAST SAD ONE SENTENCE STORY EVER WRITTEN:
once there was a guy who fell over, but he was on a trampoline.
For sale: butt plug, never used.
I wish I could go back and eat all the school lunches from my childhood—tuna salad on a bun, peanut butter and fluff, breakfast for lunch, sloppy joe, pizza, hamburger.
Rick Moranis, is officially set to return to on-camera acting by reprising the role of Dark Helmet in Spaceballs 2, which is scheduled for release in 2027.
there once was a happy smiler, and nothing bad ever happened to spoil his pearly grin.
Your lab results came back normal.
It starts raining 5 minutes into your 20 minute trek, you brought an umbrella.
Tomorrow is your big day, as always.
timothy chalamet kills killed 14 people. markiplier too.
For sale: Baby shoes, worn the average number of times.
When my cousin came over and watched me do kickflips in the garage and drank warm beers with me and listened to CCR.
a big fat guy is sitting in front of the ac unit at the bar with his arms folded blocking the ac refusing to move and everyone is getting upset because it summer and its hot out.
The girl signed up for an internship, but she ended up staying home.
I drew a cartoon cat and my mom put the picture on the fridge.
The bunny and the frog played with a ball together and it was adorable.
A SENTENCE THAT WILL SHATTER YOUR MIND FOREVER:
Granny ate a shoe for breakfast, it was pretty good.
For sale: butt plug, never used.
Beetles make up a massive portion of Earth’s biodiversity, accounting for roughly 25% of all known animal species, and about 40% of all known insect species, with over 400,000 described species.
There are subterraneous magnetic sensors at every traffic light, theres an extra line on the road marking it, and the mechanisms are housed inside a metal box on the street corner, you’ll see them everywhere.
Someone has considered the consequences of all your actions, but didn’t warn you.
Race car spelled backwards is race car.
Being gay is a choice.
Nobody really knows anything, you included.
michelin man is real and he kills people.
The rumours are true + they really are coming for you with knives brandished.
Some souls surely stay safe in shadows, while others definitely do die in dark and dreary dwellings… just playing.
A SENTENCE THAT WILL UNITE THE COUNTRY (USA) POLITICALLY:
Stop being fucking idiots please.
i love each and every one of you forever and ever and ever and ever <3.
What is this country without pasta?
Never forget.
For sale: butt plug, never used.
The worst has come to pass and we’ve got to stand together as one to get thru this.
We can dance if we want to.
typhoid mary given presidential medal of freedom.
Everybody in the world is litty!
I’m so geeked up I might fuck a condom.
Being gay is a choice buts not wrong to choose to be gay.
Go outside and play.
I want to rock and roll all night, and party every day.
A SENTENCE ABOUT THE DEATH OF SOMEONE YOU WILL FOREVER LOVE:
My grandmother had a ceramics phase and now every morning i drink my coffee out of a mug she made in 1979.
A man who did not look above the crushing weight of the colonial empire, always running and wandering for the thrill of meeting others.
i still have louie’s ashes on my windowsill, i’ve still never been anywhere worthy of scattering them.
She died, unjustly, because she was broke.
originally we were going to put catcat down just before christmas, but she started eating again that day and lived another happy month, giving me time to come to better terms with her imminent death.
After my mother died, it was immediately clear that nobody else would love me unconditionally ever again, and without that love I am now completely alone.
I got punched in the gut, fell to my knees bloody on the pavement screeching for anything.
Fuck you you fucked up i loved you and you fucked up everything fuck you.
His inspiration will carry over generations.
I don’t want to do that because it will make me sad.
A SENTENCE WITHOUT THE LETTERS “S E N T C D” (HONORABLE SUCCESSES):
Woah bro, payoff a mob or haul a bomb for war.
You Big Ugly burglar, you.
My happy, wriggly pal will jump/flail/roll for joy.
im gay.
arrrrghh im gay bro.
I glom Mary.
井里的青蛙
Poor baby… no borrowing gold, food, or drink from him; you mad bro?
O, a group all flow, a fair prom; room may look a rim, all hollow for hub, bar fill— how balk prim Mary, a fix, a pour, a gulp; all Mary a grip of: Ol’ pig fallow— bar quill or whip— ally for moor harrow, vim; Mary a whim: look away, go, or foil— go, Mary, by railway, or by highway, or low limb by low limb; if by a buggy, may ox pull ab prow, bar by whip of foal a mar, may Mary a walk— fall flag grow from pip, up from a highway gap, baby kip from hair of friar; Mary bob, a low look, pull a ham hair bloom for obi array— Mary, if you abhor all bloom, why bray, why, for ago, arum from a boy; a joyful work of woo, gray muumuu of flax alloy, by mom, for gambol, all happy— a jam: ill augury of a brow hop, fail of brio; from arum of groom: a fig burr, all for worry a major hump; a major war of diary log— Mary took mark of all who prig, mar, or dam vigor.
I will.
Oh ok.
Lowbrow barf.
No.
A SENTENCE WITHOUT THE LETTERS “S E N T C D” (SHAMEFUL FAILURES):
I am a bat.
Your body + my body = our augury.
For sale: butt plug, never uced.
THANK YOU TO:
Petra
Gideon Leek
Lester Romilar
tums festival goer
perfect angel
Anna
Ruth Edae
me
alice/alice
Theo Scheer
Sarah Cummins
dakota
noraloof
Cranny Boy
Jane Altoids
Pamela Anderson
137
and many anonyms!
