Good day friend,

This is SENTENCED’s second funnies section. Thank you for signing up! You will not be disappointed.

Hey, so… we didn’t get enough comics submitted for the competition. We only got like 5. Bummer. We’re gonna postpone the competition until we get like 10. We set aside $20 from our budget indefinitely for when that time comes. Sorry.

On the bright side we have published a new story! Liquidity by Mario Senzale. Check it out! It’s a story about unfathomably large numbers, which represent money. Shoutout to Amerah Ames as well, who did the artwork for this one.

We’d also like to announce a future announcement. Sentenced is going to, at some point, do something big in New York City. It will be the most ambitious thing we’ve ever done and we’re looking forward to announcing it sometime.

To help pay for this big thing that will be announced we partnered with Dawn Dish Soap to bring you some reporting on recent sporting events. Enjoy!

The Knicks Game

Presented by Dawn

We at Sentenced are very excited about the Knicks! But: please don’t tell us if they won. We’ve been busy publishing cutting edge literature and humor and we simply haven’t had time to watch the games. But we’re all going to eat the classic basketball snack (popcorn, soda, candy, New-York style pizza) and watch “hoops” in someone’s living room, or even family room, soon. (We are a family.)

So don’t tell us what happened!

Soccer is another sport we are aware of. Many people around town are wearing those silky tee shirts with beautiful corporate sponsorships. We are not sure what’s happening with all that, but we support you and your favorite companies!

Baseball is boring as ever. And we love it for that.

American Football season is just around the corner. Personally, we can’t wait. Football is not only one of the best treatments for male loneliness. It is also a modern day gladiator sport, and we at Sentenced are huge history buffs!

And we particularly enjoy the stylish men who discuss the game, which is a little too violent for us, while the players are taking a break to eat oranges.

(insert image of Howie Long

)

There are many other sports that we are aware of.

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LIST OF SPORTS:
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Ping Pong
Tennis Table
Tennis
“Smackers” (our grandma’s pet name for Ping Pong)
Badminton
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Are you aware of other sports?
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Leave a comment on a website of your choice and let people know what it is!

See you soon,

Sentenced Funnies

sentencedlit.org