Good day friend,
This is SENTENCED’s first speculation session. Thank you for signing up! You will not be disappointed.
Hi everyone. Sentenced Here. We’re not feeling so well today. We have a cold and are worried about how the upcoming collapse of civilization may not immediately result in the creation of a classless society. It might actually take some time and be very hard. Even though communism is inevitable, we’re tired just thinking about the hard road ahead of us. Cough. Cough. We wanted to throw you all a bone anyway and speculate on the American economy. We’ll provide you with some tips on what stocks you should buy and sell to dominate the market. Before that, we would like to provide an exclusive social opportunity for our newsletter subscribers.
Also, we are still accepting comic submissions!
INTRODUCING
In a landscape of addictive, ad-filled, predatory, and uninspired social media networks, CHAT stands alone.
With our Unified Social Structure Relay, you’re always a part of the action. No distracting comment sections or fractured posts. CHAT with everyone all at once. Nothing more, nothing less.
We wanted CHAT to feel like yapping with your funniest buds IRL, with all its sublime imperfections, so every keystroke is broadcast to the chat live. It’s like a voice call without all that dreadful vocal profiling.
In an effort to remove all harmful profiling, we allow and even encourage the creation of infinite impersonation or sock puppet accounts. Be anyone you want, anytime.
Beyond revolutionizing socialization itself, we have some creature comforts, like a robust POKE system which allows you to poke and get poked. Be careful though! Your finger must regrow for some time before you can POKE again. If you have not been poked you cannot CHAT and a PLEAD button replaces the POKE button, allowing you to PLEAD for a chance to participate. However, for a limited time, we are enabling the SPIRIT OF LITERATURE to automatically POKE all new users (after a few seconds). This will be disabled when CHAT is officially released, so act fast to create your accounts so you can POKE in the next generation of CHAT participants.
Beware, there is a secret huge feature that may be revealed to you while you CHAT. It can be scary.
CHAT: the everything (and more) app.
CHAT now at sentencedlit.org/chat
Also, please be on the top of your game if you can help it. We may use the chat logs over the next couple of days as promotion. Thanks!
Now, some speculation.
Nvidia is having a moment. I guess you should buy that. Apple went up too for some reason. So buy that? Or maybe don’t because it might go down again. Nvidia might crash at some point if this AI bubble thing ever pops. Just be careful.
The S&P 400 is always reliable. It’s like a bunch of stocks, not just one, so you can never go wrong with it. Unless the stock market crashes entirely, which could happen at any moment.
If we want to get psychological about it, people tend to buy a stock after it dips a bit, but not too much, and even if it is too much, people will sometimes still buy it. If you are the first to buy after a stock dips then buying it might be a good idea. Emphasis on “might.” You really never know.
Our general advice would be to avoid buying or selling stocks because it takes up a lot of time and money if you really get into it. A 401k is safer and easier. However, everything might get fucked up before you get a chance to use it.
Honestly, just have fun and don’t worry about money. Go into insane amounts of debt if you want. Creditors aren’t allowed to inflict bodily harm yet so there is no real risk. When the law passes allowing them to torture and kill you, don’t sweat it. You might as well be dead because that is not a world you want to live in anyway.
We hoped this helped you understand things.
See you soon,
Sentenced Speculation
sentencedlit.org
