Opinions from Tiffany Trump, Dr. Yoho.com, Patrick Bet-David, Ted Kacyzinski, Lena Dunham, and Kim Shapiro.

Michael jumped up and down and the whole plane rattled. Did some lines in the bathroom.

Three Cheers for Beers!

It’s a Xerox of a Xerox all the way down.

Tell you ‘bout Maynard Cherry, my neighbor what shovels slop.

A psychic on the television closes her ad with a sequence of numbers.

For sale: butt plug, never used.

I have a secret, but you’ll never know what it is.

In third grade, I was getting into too many fights and was made to spend recess in the library. I never came out.